When the Room Isn’t Empty.
Why Community Matters More Than Postcode
Right now, I’m sat in a coffee shop in my North East town centre, drinking a £6.75 flat white — which still feels like the clearest sign yet that the world has gone mad. And granted, you might think this is just another Northerner moaning about the North–South divide. Maybe there’s a bit of truth in that.
But when it comes to mental health, I keep coming back to one question:
Does your postcode really matter?
Because mental health doesn’t care where you’re from. It doesn’t discriminate by geography, income, football club, or skin colour. The ruts, cycles, dark patches, and overwhelming thoughts can hit anyone.
What can change, though, is how easy it is to climb out of them. Depending on your surroundings, community, and local support, it can feel like trying to pull yourself up while the wind is blowing straight back in your face.
And that’s why free, accessible, local spaces matter more than most people realise.
Finding Space North East
The first time I walked into a Space NE peer support group, I didn’t know what to expect. In truth, I don’t think I had any expectations, more of an uncertainty and a knot in my stomach.
Since that night, no matter what’s happened in my life, the lads in that room and the organisation behind it have never once walked away. And that consistency, that refusal to disappear that is exactly what makes groups like Space NE so important.
Someone once told me something that has stayed with me for years:
“In the darkest times, while everyone else is walking out of the room, pay attention to the people that stay in it and who walk in.”
Plenty of people have walked out of my room over the years. But the ones that stayed and the ones that walked in some quietly, some pushing their way through while others left, they’re the ones who changed everything. A good few of them I met through Space NE.
And if you have even one person like that in your life, hold onto them. Talk to them. Those are the people who matter.
What Space NE Has Become
Space NE isn’t just a group anymore it’s a whole community. Running six days a week.
Support groups, local walks, yoga, boxing sessions, a coffee van… all free, all aimed at helping people find connection and purpose without judgment.
It’s proof that mental health support doesn’t have to be clinical, complicated, or intimidating. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can offer someone is simply a room they can walk into without fearing they’ll be turned away.
Walking Into the Room
If you’ve never been to a peer-to-peer support group before, you’re not alone. Most of us don’t know what we’re walking into until we’re already through the door.
I’ve tried different groups over the years some men-only, some mixed. They all have their own structure, but every single one has this in common:
A room full of people with lived experience.
Not identical experiences. Not identical lives. But a shared understanding of what certain feelings feel like and that, on its own, is powerful.
Hearing someone talk about a life completely different from your own, yet recognising the feeling underneath it, creates a type of empathy you can’t fake. It makes you feel less alien, less broken, less alone.
And sometimes the support you receive isn’t about “fixing” anything. It’s about finding purpose, taking accountability, building small habits, and slowly uncovering the cause behind the symptoms. Half the time you don’t even realise that’s what’s happening you just start to breathe again.
The Hardest Part — and the Most Liberating
Let’s be honest: walking into a room full of blokes and talking openly about how you feel is hard.
It goes against years of being told to “man up,” “get on with it,” or “sort yourself out.”
But the flip side is one of the best feelings I’ve ever had:
Walking into that same room and realising it’s not empty.
Realising it’s not just you.
That moment is liberating in a way that’s difficult to describe. We’re experts at convincing ourselves we’re alone even when we’re surrounded by people who love us. But seeing other men who feel the same way is physical proof that you’re not the only one fighting that battle.
A lot of us do have friends or family we could talk to. But we don’t. We keep the mask on because we’re scared of being judged, misunderstood, or abandoned.
And that’s why organisations like Space North East are essential. Not just for the practical support, but for the cultural shift they create. They show men that talking openly doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you less of anything.
And the people who walk in when you’re struggling? They’re the ones worth keeping close.